What reasons do women do not come up with to explain their lonely love status to themselves. Too thick, old, smart, strong, independent … Is it really the case of this, or the causes of loneliness in something else? The hypnotherapist argues.
Once I was sitting in a cafe with a friend, and while we enjoyed coffee and buns, she said: “I still have not met anyone. Because thick and ugly “. I love my friend and understand that this is a real fear, she really sees herself and believes that she is lonely because of this.
But I know that she is wrong. Because around is full of lovers of couples of all stripes and ages. They were attracted to each other something, independent of the size of the clothing and the “right” facial features. Perhaps this is a certain internal attractiveness that makes the knees of a potential partner tremble when meeting or even when your voice sounds by phone.
So why is my friend lonely? She says that she often goes on dates, but those who like the most quickly disappear.
The years of work by the hypnotherapist led me to the conclusion: the point is not what we are doing, but what part of the soul does it do. In each of us, two seem to get along: the first is mature, wise, confident in himself and his desires;The second is small, doubting and frightened, who believes that life is hard, “my opinion does not excite anyone” and “no one loves me”.
If a second character seizes the power on a date, it is doomed to failure. A potential partner as a mirror reflecting our perception of itself. This attracts this. And if we need another reflection, we need to change our perception.
So what to do to a friend and everyone else to find love? Deal with mental obstacles coming from uncertainty. As soon as they disappear, the path to love will be cleared.
What internal problems are found in single women?
1. Fear of being abandoned.
“My father left me when I was little, it means that I am not worthy of his love and he does not care. With the rest of the men will be the same “. He really left, and it was hurt and difficult, but it does not characterize your personality and does not mean that no one will love you. On the contrary, this experience can emphasize your desire to build strong, trusting relationships. You want this, you will get it.
2. Fear of repeat the unlucky marriage of parents.
“They had a terrible relationship, they constantly quarreled, I could not establish relations in our family to feel safe”. Perhaps everything was so, and you scared you. But this does not mean that you were not safe. You were not responsible for their relationship. These were their problems, and they dealt with them as they could.
This fear from childhood prevents you from understanding what kind of relationship you yourself are responsible for. And here you can change a lot – this is your relationship, not parental. And you can create an atmosphere yourself in which you will feel safe.
3. Fear of losing yourself in a relationship.
“Mother controlled every step and word of her father. As a result, he stopped arguing with her and as if lost the right to vote. I
am the same as my father, but I do not want to lose independence “. You cannot know exactly what happened between your parents. In any case, their children’s injuries influenced their actions. But you are another person, your childhood was not like your parents. You are free and independent and being in a relationship, and in the status of “loners”. Knowing that you can calmly express your desires and preferences to the future partner, you can relax and let love into life.
4. Fear to repeat the previous “bad” relations.
“I had a terrible marriage. My husband treated me badly, and I am afraid that this could happen again “. Say firmly that this will not happen, you are not the person who were before. You have realized a lot and better understand what you want in a relationship and what is not. Now is the time to let go of the past to allow a happy future to come to you.